Virtual Loves

There are those who think that the so-called “virtual loves” began with the appearance of the Internet. The truth, if we review history, we realize that this is not accurate. Of course, the Internet has significantly facilitated this kind of love affair at a distance. But those distant crushes have always existed.

There was a time when marriages were arranged at birth and the bride and groom met on the wedding day. There were also times when courtships were strongly restricted and couples could not find themselves alone, but with the presence of some authority figure and always keeping their distance. The Internet did not invent these kinds of relationships.

Loves at a distance

The case of the girl who falls in love with a pop idol is classic, although she has only met him through television. Thousands and thousands of young people in the world continue to shout and tear their clothes at the concert of a perfect stranger whom they admire without really knowing why. Of course, it is not about love as such; but it does indicate that the range of affective experiences is very wide.

Some great loves have occurred in the distance. The one that Gabriel García Márquez tells us in “Love in the Times of Cholera”, which lasts a lifetime and remains unscathed over time, but only reaches direct contact after several decades. This work recreates the real love of the writer’s parents.

Our great-grandparents and many of our grandparents had passionate relationships by letter. In Colombia, until not long ago, there was the figure of the “reasoner”, a character who lived in the towns and whose mission was to carry messages of furtive love, from ear to ear. There have also been in many places the “writers” of love letters, who are in charge of a similar mission.

During wars, many relationships have had to survive distance and time through letters. More recently, the telephone replaced many of the written messages for couples who, for one reason or another, were not physically together.

Changes introduced by the Internet

The Internet has only made those “long distance love affairs” easier and more numerous. Today you can establish contact in real time with someone who is on the other side of the world. You are no longer subject to looking for people of your interest only in your city, but you have the entire planet at your disposal.

In addition, the network allows you to see those people you have not met live and direct. You can access their photos or contact them by videoconference. They say that very soon we will have holograms on demand.

From many sectors the validity of the “virtual relationships” originated by the Internet has been questioned. It is argued that they are fictitious, since each of those involved can lie about himself or present only the positive elements of who he is, deliberately hiding the negative or dark elements of his life.

This criticism would be valid if that did not also happen in what we can call “real life”. There are no deceptions in real life? There is no falsification of the personal image? How many are going to see their new love just woken up and without having brushed their teeth?

What is questionable about virtual relationships is not in the environment itself, but in the characteristics of the people who participate in them. Virtual loves can also get wild and addictive. Likewise, they could help to mask the fear of genuine love, commitment, and real relationships. But in the same way they can be a means for the birth of great new loves. Reality proves that this is so.

Image courtesy of nuvolanevicata