The Great Trap Of Judging Others

We have all fallen into the terrible trap of judging others at times. But why do we refer to this common fact in this way? Every time we make a judgment about someone we become people who create one or more stories that may be very far from the reality about which we have invented them.

Think of that mother who is always late for her son to school. You may start to judge her as a bad parent or lazy who likes bed a lot. Even as a messy one who can’t control chaos. Have you ever stopped to think if all this is true? Not always in the absence of an explanation, the one that you understand as the most common is the true one.

Without realizing it, you are assuming what may be happening in that person’s life. You are falling into the trap of completing the information that you do not know with a story invented by you … You are making a mistake and you are not aware of it. All of us would have to wear glasses like the man in this video:

The fault is our ego

The reason we judge in this hasty way is our own ego. Consciously or unconsciously, we need to feel better than others or express our rejection of a certain attitude. By judging, we are closing the doors to empathy, as well as a much more precise explanation.

When we talk about being empathic with others, many people say “yes, I am an empath.” If a friend unloads on me and needs to be listened to, I am able to put myself in her place, understand her and encourage her without falling into the temptation to judge her. It’s true, you are empathetic, but only with the people you know. With those that don’t, you fall into the trap.

When it comes to judging others, our mistakes play a fundamental role

We need to feel superior, special, different. We prefer to observe from a safe distance that person who we think is not acting well. We want it that way because it feeds our ego and, in a way, makes us feel better about ourselves.

Have you ever found yourself isolated because no one understood you ? Surely on more than one occasion the phrase “if they knew what I’m living, what I’m going through …” passed through your mind. That is what all those people you judge will think without really knowing what is happening to them. Isn’t it different to see things from someone else’s place?

Also, think that even if you are right and the other person is acting “wrong” under your perception, who are you to reproach them? You don’t know what happened to him in his past. Because who among us is perfect? We all have the right to make mistakes, even to enjoy that opportunity.

Judging others or the art of ignorance

Let’s go back to the example of the mother who is so careless with her son, or at least that is what your eyes seem. Perhaps you are living under the yoke of an abusive husband, perhaps you are experiencing a great depression or, recently, a family member you were very fond of has died. We like these explanations less because they would force us to get involved, they would knock on the door of consciousness: they are not easy.

If you have seen her so badly, if her attitude has produced so much confusion and you point your finger at her, why don’t you ask her? If she is in any of the above situations, she may even be grateful that someone, completely unknown, cares about her. Because maybe no one in his life is doing it.

Perhaps it is the preliminary to a beautiful friendship or, simply, a situation in which you reach out your hand to someone else to take it if they need it. Surely on some occasion you would have liked them to have done something similar with you. That instead of ignoring you or seeing you with eyes full of negative judgments, they would have approached you and opened the arms of understanding and understanding.

To suppose is to ignore; When in doubt, ask rather than affirm

However, how can we not be afraid to ask? In doing so, all our judgments would collapse, we would have to dismantle the blueprint that we have built in our minds, and perhaps our ego would be affected. Somehow we protect ourselves by falling into one of the deadliest traps. Those that we constantly criticize.

In conclusion, we tend to fall into the trap of judging others. Trap that we would avoid by putting awareness in those processes that we practically execute automatically. Thus, it is time to show interest in helping others, even to find an explanation if we need it and not invent it, to be patient and wait until we can build it or settle if we cannot.