The Dangerous Charm Of Clandestine Loves
Love grows and ignites with greater force when accompanied by a dose, large or small, of impossibility. Passions are never so ardent as when they are crossed by some prohibition. And if you have to keep a secret, much better. There is a dangerous charm in clandestine love affairs …
But just as the insect that hovers around the flame sometimes ends up burning, so the forbidden loves can also end badly. Sometimes they are simply followed by a romantic goodbye, but most of the time they leave someone involved with large wounds that take a long time to heal.
If a love must remain a secret, in general, it is because behind it there is a very powerful reason. Most of the time, if not always, what is behind is a third party with whom there is a loving commitment. Usually clandestine loves are loves where there are at least three involved. Sometimes four. Sometimes more.
A prior engagement is not the only reason for love affairs to go underground. Sometimes what mediates is some convenience, as it happens with famous people who must keep their relationships hidden so as not to lose followers. Sometimes there are other types of pressures, family, work or social, that demand secrecy in the relationship.
This type of love, in any case, is clandestine because it is forbidden in some way. And it is precisely that element of prohibition that adds a special flavor to those affections. The relationship cannot develop in a “normal” way. It is necessary to inaugurate a kind of “parallel life” in order to maintain that love.
The charm of the forbidden
Every prohibition is at the same time an invitation. This is so because in the human mind the ban activates desire. Are you not more interested in a movie, if they tell you that it has been censored in several countries? Don’t you look more closely at that door that says “No Trespassing”? Don’t you long to be one of those who can pass?
The forbidden has a natural charm because it reveals, in the foreground, something that one lacks. Thus, it is precisely from that lack (which becomes evident with the prohibition) that desire is born. Therefore, prohibition and desire are the face and the seal of the same coin.
When it comes to love, things get even more effervescent. The prohibition becomes fuel for the flame, although it is very timid at first. Obstacles become stimuli and risks end up being seen as appealing challenges. The same danger of the relationship falls in love. But, be careful, maybe from playing with fire so much we end up consuming ourselves in it.
The danger of clandestine love affairs
The first danger that a clandestine love faces is, obviously, that it is discovered. It is assumed that if it is hidden it is because the consequences of revealing it can be very serious. There is nothing hidden between heaven and earth and there are very few cases in which the truth remains secret for long.
Of course, many lovers also experience these revelations with a certain emotion. They betray their commitment to their partner, but at the same time unconsciously wish to “get caught” in action. It is part of a convoluted game of testing the limit of the official couple or belittling it to settle those accounts that every relationship has pending to a greater or lesser degree.
The second great danger is that you play literally with your own feelings and those of others. In the allure of risk may be the true and only cause of the relationship. It is not love that unites, but the intention to challenge the forbidden. The downside is that in this “game”, almost always, everyone involved gets hurt to some degree.
Finally, the danger of clandestine loves is that, when it comes time, they neither allow us to grow, nor do they make our life more profitable. They end up being chapters in which we behave like children who do not want to obey. But when the account is clear, what remains is simply to have savored the charm of the forbidden … And a lot of time wasted in that relative pleasure.
