Salvador’s Complex
Helping others is one of the behaviors that enjoys the most social recognition. In general, when we are altruistic we are improving the life of the other person; And for that reason, at the social level it is one of the ways of acting that is most rewarded. However, is it always good to help others? The existence of the Salvador complex seems to put it in doubt.
The savior complex is a psychological condition whereby a person feels the need to help others constantly. This way of being leads the individual to act in a bit extreme ways, to the point that their actions can be very harmful.
In this article we will try to understand what exactly this way of being consists of. Thus, you will be able to identify it both in yourself and in others. In this way, you can avoid those occasions when something as positive as help can hurt you a lot.
What does the Salvador complex consist of?
According to the official definition, a person with a savior complex is one who feels the constant urge to save others. They tend to have a great tendency to seek out and assist individuals in need of help, often at the sacrifice of their own needs, wants, and aspirations.
The problem is that these characteristics can easily lead to the creation of toxic relationships. In general, people with this complex tend to be part of codependent couples. These are, in most cases, one of the worst types of relationship that can be given.
In them, one of the individuals needs the constant help of the other to feel good, so they think they cannot live without it. Meanwhile, the savior at first is reinforced by the dependence shown by his partner. However, after a while you will tend to tire and be limited by the need for it.
Thus, in a codependent couple formed by the savior complex, neither of the two involved is really happy. The love addict will generally have less and less self-esteem and confidence, while the other will feel burdened and blame their partner.
It should be noted that this dynamic does not only occur in relationships. It is also possible that it appears among friends, family, co-workers … However, the most common is that it occurs in the field of love relationships.
How to avoid this dynamic
Below you will find a series of keys that will help you avoid forming dependency relationships. If you think you suffer in a certain sense of savior complex, applying them to your life can be very helpful.
- Remember that you are only responsible for yourself. Each person has to take charge of their own life, their emotions and their actions. Therefore, you are not obliged to save anyone if it is not what makes you happy.
- Learn to say no. For many people, refusing to do what someone they care about is asking is extremely difficult. However, failure to do so inevitably leads to dependency and resentment. That’s why mastering techniques like assertiveness can greatly help you improve your relationships.
- Set your limits. Surely, if you have characteristics related to the savior complex, you genuinely like to help others. So you have to find how far you want to go when you do. Is there something you really don’t enjoy doing? What is the point where helping others becomes a burden on you?
- Put your happiness first. Most of us have grown up with the idea that caring for our own well-being before that of others is selfish. However, if an action is going to make you unhappy, there is no point in taking it. If you really want to help, try to find a way to do it without hurting yourself.
Ultimately, if you want to get rid of the savior complex, you need to examine yourself honestly. Only by doing it and remembering that you are only responsible for your own happiness will you be able to create and care for relationships that provide well-being.
