Rule Of Emotional Health: There Are People Who Deserve You And People Who Don’t

There is a basic rule to preserve our emotional health, distinguish who deserves us from those who do not. To do this, we must approach some basic principles of discrimination that basically consist of separating the good from the bad to assess the gray hue of our relationships.

We don’t deserve someone to seek us out only when they need us. Selfishness is insane and therefore it is better to keep it out of our lives. Nor do we deserve indifference, inattention and mistreatment. Those are maxims or principles that must be unshakable.

In any case, this does not mean that what we do not deserve makes other people bad but that our relationship may not be healthy and feed a negative bond full of pain that opens dangerous wounds for our emotional health.

We are what we tell ourselves

To be able to discriminate what makes us feel good and what doesn’t, we have to be very clear about the emotional messages that are healthy for us. In other words, we must analyze our internal dialogue. But what is our inner dialogue?

Inner dialogue is our way of communicating with ourselves and is decisive for managing our self-concept and self-esteem. Therefore, it must be positive and give us confidence, security, vitality and projection.

Likewise, if our self-concept is usually supported by phrases like the ones that follow, it is difficult to attract good attitudes and relationships to our life:

• I am bad or bad, I deserve to be abandoned.
• I am not worthy of love.
• No one can ever appreciate or love me.
• Nobody cared.
• I am quite sorry.
• I deserve the criticism.
• I’m weak.
• I am ugly or ugly.
• Etc.

We know the effect that other people’s words have on us when they make us feel good, hurt us, or stop speaking to us in an appropriate tone. However, we do not usually think cleverly how we are influenced by the way we talk to each other when it comes to interacting.

If we recognize ourselves in a negative internal dialogue, we must take action on the matter and begin to give ourselves positive and emotionally intelligent indications. These can be of various types depending on what we need. Thus, if, for example, we talk about a person believing that “he is worth nothing” , he must say to himself: “I am worth a lot because …”.

Our brain receives our orders and, depending on the type of thoughts to which we are accustomed, it starts a neurochemical machinery or another. That is, for example, the thoughts that our brain creates, block or promote serotonin secretion.

This is much more complex, of course, but this simple rule will help us understand that those with pessimistic, insecure and dependent language are going to be much more vulnerable in their relationships and, therefore, are likely to run into people. wrong in bad situations end up damaging your emotional health.

That is why it is so important that we control what we say to ourselves and what we say to others, as it will help us to clearly discern what is good and bad for us, as well as to strengthen ourselves to say that we do not want someone in our life. it does not deserve us because it is not good for us.

I love myself because …

Now comes the next task, complete the phrase “I love myself or myself because …” as many times as we can think of and in a totally sincere and spontaneous way. Anything goes, we should not put up barriers of any kind.

Many times the solution to reestablish the balance of our inner conversations must go through talking with those people who “are affecting us” and raising the inequality that is driving the relationship and the self-concept that this circumstance fosters.

We must, starting from this base, try to find a healthy balance that promotes our emotional health. If this healthy agreement does not arrive, we must always choose to be our priority, take care of ourselves and begin to internally write a script in which we are the main protagonists.