Learn To Validate Your Opinions And Feelings
What can happen when a person completely loses control of what to tell and not in his life? What consequences can “emotional promiscuity” bring? Can the choice of close friends to guide us diminish our self-esteem?
In life, when you have an opinion, it is enriching to listen to that of others, either by adding aspects that you did not know to your own opinion, which becomes a less strong opinion in the face of certain evidence or reaffirm it if you find many arguments in its favor.
E l problem arises when we need to also validate what we feel and think before others.
Because it is our most intimate part and only we know its cause and development. In this way, we will have to work with ourselves so that it does not prevent us from moving forward with our goals.
Only we know everything about ourselves, so it is better to have a dialogue with our inner self to validate that feeling and give it the place in your story that you think it should have.
That will help you to build yourself and not to be a mere mold that others can transform at will because you let them do that work, as if you do not have enough confidence in yourself to do it.
You expose yourself to unnecessary public judgment, which can further damage your sensitivity and perform extreme behaviors that harm you, since that is what you think you deserve.
What is the clearest clinical consequence that reflects the lack of personal validation?
We can see it in a disorder that is being diagnosed more and more: borderline personality disorder.
People who suffer from this disorder do not feel that their actions are understood, they seek social recognition at all costs, they have a chronic feeling of emptiness and one of the most dysfunctional aspects that lead to the appearance of this disorder is wanting to validate it at all costs. that they think and feel, as if they themselves were not capable of doing it.
In the movie “The Wound” we can see that slow and anguishing process of how a person is trapped by their romantic relationships because they are not capable of setting limits, closing stages, experiencing pain in silence.
Validation is not the same as narcissism, it is something that fosters our individuality in the world and only then can we function in it.
Instead, our ideas and opinions about society and their validation or debate before others enrich us, activate us, and can be thoroughly explored without being harmed.
Understand that your pain and feelings are like that, it is very difficult sometimes to change and understand them; you must realize that thousands of people experience them daily as human beings in an unpleasant world at times.
So as much as possible, you don’t need anyone to listen to them if it doesn’t make sense to you.
As Greta Garbo said:
