How To Use Reverse Psychology?

Surely you have ever used reverse psychology, even if you have not realized it or have been aware of the power it has. Basically it is about adopting a position so that the other adopts the opposite.

Some experts at contradictory are usually teenagers. In the process of establishing their identity, if something they hate is someone trying to direct or condition them. Thus, in order to avoid this feeling, they often choose not to do what they are suggested, even though deep down they know that it is the best option.

What is reverse psychology?

This concept is attributed to the Austrian psychiatrist Viktor Frankl  and bases its effectiveness on reactance. What does this process consist of? It is a motivational process through which we defend our freedom and rebel against those we believe are trying to repress us. On many occasions, just because we feel that we are in control of our life, we cling to a decision contrary to the one indicated to us. We are not willing to lose our power or our autonomy.

It is enough that we tell a young child not to touch an object to arouse their curiosity. It is enough for any of us to be told not to open a closet door to feel the tremendous curiosity to open it. Do you feel identified with any of these situations?

Reverse psychology consists in that if we want someone to carry out an action X, we will tell them to carry out the opposite action (Y) so that they choose the one we really want, the X. 

How do we start reverse psychology?

Let’s imagine that a 5-year-old boy refuses to eat vegetables. You insist on forcing him to finish everything on the plate, but it seems like there is no way: he will not eat the carrots or zucchini. If you keep telling him to eat, everything will end badly. You will lower your arms and he will go away happy to play.

The thing is not as simple as telling the child not to eat them. He is going to run away and we are going to keep the vegetables. Before we have to do a preliminary work, we have to give the vegetables an attractive shape: that they do not look like a bland and boring dish, but quite the opposite.

That’s when we can put reverse psychology in place to further increase the appeal of the dish. The truth is that if something arouses our curiosity, it increases even more if it is prohibited.  This in childhood is especially true because parents often forbid things to their children that they have at some point experienced as fun.

As we add years, to the association that we have acquired in childhood we add, as we have described before, the need for independence. Other reasons to be contrary may have to do with the security that we feel in a certain situation. If we feel insecure and someone prompts us to take a risk, we will probably opt for the most common behavior or less divergent from that of the majority.

On the contrary, accompanied by a feeling of security, we will lean towards the risky option with more determination if someone tries to incite us to opt for the safe one. Thus, being the opposite in these cases does not usually determine the side towards which the balance is tilted, but it does make it tilt definitively or to do so with more force, to one side or the other.

Reverse psychology in adults

Perhaps the example of the child who did not want to eat vegetables is something basic and we understand it because “he is a little one who can be handled easier”. However, you should know that reverse psychology is widely used in companies.

For example : a company offers elective training courses for its employees. But since they are after hours, nobody signs up. Then, the managers report that starting next month, the hours of the courses will be cut in half and that those resources will be lost.

With this strategic move, the company does not really want to remove the courses, but rather for the worker to realize that he has something that has value and that if he does not use it, he will dedicate himself to something else that has nothing to do with him … and nobody likes to lose something that has objective value even if that person has not given it to them up to that point.

How to apply reverse psychology?

Now, it is not about going through life “denying things” so that the other can do them as we want. There are some “conditions” (to call them something) so that the habit of manipulating does not become a habit:

• Who will you apply it to and why? Answer this question before using the reverse psychology technique. If it’s for your child to get dressed for school or stop watching so much television, welcome, but if you want to convince your customers to buy a new product, you may have to think better of it.
• What are the effects you can get? If you deny your son to do his homework and he ends up doing it, fine. However, sometimes the play will not turn out well and he will answer you, the happiest thing in the world, “perfect, then I can turn on the video games.”

• How free does that person want to feel? The greater your need for self-affirmation (the need to feel that you make the decisions you make of your own free will), the more likely you are going to follow a different path than the one we indicate. For example, a person who does not like taking orders will be a good candidate for reverse psychology to work for him.

Have you ever practiced reverse psychology? On what occasions have you not been able to avoid it? Keep in mind that you have to do it carefully, because sometimes our idea can be truncated and not work as expected. Take into account all of the above!