How To Help A Person With Depression?

Those who go through a depressive process perceive themselves isolated in their sphere of anguish and uncertainties. Far, far from the reality that surrounds him, and also trapped in his own mind and suffering. Thus, anyone who passes through in a similar state basically needs three things: understanding, professional help and his closest circle. Now, the reality is that we don’t always know how to help a person with depression.

Something that many patients who have managed to overcome their nervous depression, that outbreak associated with their bipolar disorder or that postpartum depression, often show is that they often experience the same sensation: guilt. There are many who feel responsible for their own illness and that is an aspect that as family, friends or partners, we should know how to take care of and avoid.

No person going through a psychological problem should carry more burdens than they already have. We must learn to be more sensitive to these situations that occur more frequently than we think.

How does a person with depression feel?

Have you ever wondered how that person – friend, family member, acquaintance – who suffers from depression feels? A depressive disorder (whatever its type) is not a cold, it is not an infection or a trauma that can be seen with the naked eye. You will see that person work, you will discover that a conversation can follow you, that there are many who continue to go to their jobs and pick up their children from work.

Is depression really a disabling illness? It is, indeed. Even more, for those who do not understand what the anatomy of depression is like, it is important to know that each person experiences it in a different way. That no two depressions are the same, that there are those who drag it for years without knowing it is there, others are paralyzed in the solitude of their bed, with the blinds down, others combine drugs with psychotherapy, others go to group therapy …

On the other hand, and if we think about it, most of us have experienced to a greater or lesser degree  many of the symptoms that are related to depression: dejection, bad mood, sadness, exhaustion, worry, fear, anguish, apathy, irritability , difficulties concentrating, etc.

Helping someone with depression involves first knowing what they are going through. It is knowing that you are caught in an ambivalence between what you would like to do and what you can actually do. The most common feeling is to believe that there is no one in the world who can understand the truth of what you are going through.

We must convince them otherwise, make them see that we are there.

How can we help a person with depression?

The simple intention of wanting to help someone you love who has depression is not enough. It is also necessary to know that there are limits, that there are words that do not help, acts that can even make the situation worse. The will is good, but the action must be carried out with intelligence and tact.

When we are seeing a loved one suffer, what is the first thing we try? Generally, we want to lift your spirits and make you see things the way we see them. “ Come on cheer up, don’t take things like that, life is precious and you have to go out there to take advantage of it!… This is one of the behaviors that you have to try to avoid. Nothing could be more counterproductive.

That is why it is important to heed certain indications of how to act to really help a person with depression. Let’s see them.

It is important that the person feels valued

It is important that the person suffering from depression feel valued. Sometimes you can tend to blame, especially since this situation can be very frustrating for everyone, as well as long. We must therefore be very tactful. Let the affected person see that we value them, that we love them and that they are important to us. Your depression is not a burden, nor is it your fault. It is a reality that will be overcome little by little and with good support.

Be careful with the phrases of encouragement

Trying to cheer up a person who doesn’t feel like doing anything can backfire. Remember that depression is discouragement and exhaustion, therefore, there are certain expressions that may be out of place. Reactions like “come on, smile, cheer up that face, or go for a walk and get distracted” can make you feel sadder and more frustrated.

With our messages we are transmitting to the person who is weak, because he does not have the necessary strength to cope with that situation.

Give importance to what you feel

A depression is not trivialized or hidden. It is there for everyone, and as such it must be accepted for what it is: a disease that requires time, patience, tact and sensitivity. Thus, to help a person with depression, you have to participate with him at every step. Without pressure or hindering, only facilitating, only being present, mediating, supporting, listening … At the end of the day, overcoming this state is something that depends only on who suffers from depression

Let’s not pretend to be your psychologists

One of the tips on how to help a person with depression is not to pretend to be their psychologist. Many times we fall into the error of believing that we can solve what is happening to you, however this is more complicated than it seems and requires professional attention.

In this way, although the support of loved ones is important and the affected person himself values ​​it, in most cases it is not enough.

Specialized help is essential, both to establish a diagnosis and to guide treatment and the corresponding follow-up. Thus, in addition to helping the person with depression, it can also give us guidelines to adjust dynamics and small daily problems.

Making the person with depression understand that they are not alone and that we are there for what they need unconditionally, will be of great relief to them. Therefore, let us learn to be closer, more understanding and more skillful to mediate his recovery without imposing, without pressure. Let’s just be that always accessible, patient and sensitive figure.