(Confucius)

Anger is normal and common, but sometimes we do not know what to do with our anger. I mean, I got angry, now what do I do? We can act good or bad, anger is a difficult emotion to control. Some people know how to keep it under control while others can just let go.

Here we tell you what to do to control your anger. Here we go!

Choose our style

The first thing we must do is think about what to do with anger, how we should act with respect to it. To begin with, we have to know what style of person we are when we get angry. We have  4 options :

1. Passive style

Many people hold back anger without being aware that they are suppressing it. This is not positive, since it can generate anxiety by not venting. The good news is that they are not easily excited, which gives them the opportunity to reflect rather than act aggressively. This style fits very well with people suffering from depression.

2. Passive-aggressive style

This is the “bomb” style where we repress our anger, but we know that sooner or later we will explode. Also, this anger can be presented in the form of hints or very subtle sarcasm.

3. Explosive style

The explosive person jumps at any moment without holding back. His tolerance level is very low, so in the face of any frustration he will hit and hurt until he vent. They are the people who need to bang on the table, punch a wall, or throw hurtful words.

4. Winning style

A person with a winning style knows how to verbally express their anger. He does it after understanding what is happening to him and why he has been angry, and then express it to the right person without being aggressive at all.

Choose our strategy

What is your style? After knowing this, we must think about what strategy to choose when we get angry. We must not forget that when we are angry we act without thinking, that is why it is necessary to reflect previously.

1. Question your anger

Why am I angry? Do I have motives? What am I supposed to do now? These are questions to ask of our own anger. If we think about it, perhaps we have no reason to be angry or, at least, to give it such importance. Many times, we can let go of what makes us angry, but if not, let’s continue with the next step.

2. Let your anger out

Don’t hold it back! That is not good and will only cause that over time you can not avoid externalizing it. Talking to someone, yelling, going for a run, among other things, are some of the ways to let your anger out. Find your way! We are not all the same, what is your way of letting go of anger?

3. Express your anger in words

If we talk to someone about what has angered us, we will calm down. We will have unburdened ourselves. We should not keep it to ourselves, because maybe we are wrong!  The person who listens to us can make us see things differently, as they really are.

4. Choose the time and place

When we get angry, the worst thing they can tell us is to calm down. So if someone is angry , stay away! Anger is very contagious and if you try to remedy it you may end up pissed off too. Therefore, get out of that situation and in another, more appropriate time and place, you can talk to that person so that he can vent.

5. Your body fights too!

Although mentally we have already left the anger, perhaps our body has not. Our body also communicates and takes longer than us to disconnect. Therefore, although we are not already angry, perhaps our face or postures still reflect it. We must here walk, run or do some activity that manages to disperse us so that anger leaves us in every way.

And now … do you know what you can do with your anger? The first thing you should do is determine your style, what is it? Then you can choose the strategy to follow. The most effective is to be able to talk to someone, but keep in mind that you should do it after calming down. During anger, you are pure tension and can unintentionally hurt the people you love the most.