Can Accepting Negative Emotions Make You Happier?

Experiencing negative emotions is not pleasant and sometimes even painful ; Above all, if we take into account that our brain tends to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Therefore, accepting negative emotions can be difficult, although it is true that it has a positive impact on our levels of well-being.

Emotions such as fear, sadness or anger – classified as negative – tend to be repressed. The problem is that this repression has long-term consequences, both physically and mentally. Because the fact of avoiding or rejecting them does not imply that they disappear, quite the contrary. In some way, they accumulate within us and generate more suffering.

Thus, coping constructively with our negative emotions can help us evolve, achieve crucial goals in life, maintain healthy relationships with others and, above all, get to know ourselves. Let’s go deeper.

Accept negative emotions without judging them

Anger, fear or sadness are emotions that are part of our daily lives. Now, just as they tell us something about us and the needs we have when we experience them, they also tend to cause stress or anxiety if we don’t know how to manage them. Hence, people often choose to avoid, ignore, or even overrule them.

Learning to manage negative emotions can be a complex learning process, since it involves facing them, analyzing them and reflecting on what they want to convey to us. This does not mean that we have to be permissive with them, but that we know how to act, that we are aware of what we are experiencing and why and why we feel this way.

The difference between acceptance and suffering

It is important to try to be aware of the difference between accepting negative emotions that can make us suffer and experiencing self-imposed suffering.

Acceptance is closely related to balance. In line with this, today’s Western culture tends to demand that we constantly try to stay happy, which could be an unrealistic expectation that could harm our psychological well-being.

The balance is in living a life that has positivity and negativity in its proper measure. Therefore, the combination of both extremes can help us to breathe calm satisfaction into our lives.

However, this is a process that takes time and work. Accepting negative emotions is not easy, since acceptance, like any other cognitive habit, is a skill that is honed and developed over time.

Strategies for managing negative emotions

There are several strategies that have been explored and recommended for accepting and processing negative emotions. Although there is a specific group of approaches that is gaining popularity. In Ceri Sims research they refer to them as TEARS HOPE

TEARS

• T – Teach and learn (and T each and learn). This strategy involves working on self-awareness and increasing knowledge about the body and mind and how they both respond to different emotional states. In this way, it will be easier to understand when you are upset and why, in addition to knowing how to interpret the signals that the body sends.
• E –  Express and enable sensory and experiences embodied (e Xpresa and enable sensory and bodily experiences). This technique is based on encouraging openness and curiosity from within to increase acceptance of what is happening on a day-to-day basis.
• A – Accept and befriend. It’s about increasing self-compassion and tolerance for frustration.
• R – Re-appraise and re-frame. This technique consists of learning to see things differently. Cognitive behavioral approaches can be used for this.

• S – Social support. This strategy highlights the attempt to expand feelings of connection with others and self-compassion, while investing effort in improving relationships. Meditation and mindfulness can help in this.

(of) HOPE: ‘(of) hope’

• H – Hedonic wellbeing / happiness. Research on the subject shows that maintaining a 3-to-1 ratio of positive to negative emotions can be beneficial. This means that it is important to manifest positive experiences on a day-to-day basis, focus on happy memories and savor successes, to increase the amount of time spent in a positive state of mind and to try to compensate for negative emotions.

• O – Observe and attend to. This technique focuses on practicing mindfulness and not paying as much attention to those things that are not really important.
• P – Physiology and behavioral changes. It is often productive to focus on relaxation, breathing exercises, and self-care.
• E – Eudaimonia. This implies a sense of authenticity and striving for personal goals in life.

Accepting negative emotions helps you feel better

Most mental health professionals agree that accepting negative emotions without judgment can be one of the best ways to improve overall psychological well-being. Therefore, it is common for psychologists to recommend experimenting with them to manage them.

Thus, an important key to improving emotional well-being lies in accepting, in the first place, that you are fighting negative emotions. In relation to this, Iris Mauss, an associate professor of psychology at UC Berkeley, explains that  “people who habitually accept their negative emotions experience less of these types of emotions, which is equivalent to better psychological health.” 

In addition, according to various studies, people who tend to feel less upset by the negative feelings they experience may have higher levels of well-being than those who are more likely to berate themselves.

As we can see, accepting negative emotions and working with them is essential to savor well-being.