Behind Every Happy Person There Is Someone Struggling To Stay That Way
Behind every happy woman is herself fighting against everything to stay that way. Behind each man who smiles at life, he is himself battling against all odds to overcome difficulties, challenges and fears … Because happiness is not a key that is found, it is an attitude of non-surrender, of commitment, of vitality and, above all, resilience.
We know it sounds stoic, but saying aloud that “life is not easy” is without a doubt resounding evidence that many will agree on. Perhaps, for this reason, one of the most classical representatives of this school, the Greek philosopher Epictetus, left us a teaching back in the 130th century AD that does not leave us indifferent and that perfectly adjusts to the social and psychological reality that we live. currently.
When we do not have control over the things that surround us – said the Greek philosopher – we are forced to focus on those aspects that we can control, that we can make our own: the thoughts that inhabit our mind. Only when we put the reins on these negative thoughts do we find lucidity, inner calm, peace and even freedom.
This idea should make us understand something very simple, something very elementary: every time we meet someone who at first glance seems to have the secret of happiness in their hands and in the brightness of their eyes, we must not make mistakes. Because
Behind a happy person there is someone who struggles, someone who performs deep inner work daily to purify limiting attitudes and ignite their own strengths. They are profiles that cross their comfort zone every day, that have learned a lesson from each difficulty and that despite all the regrets, they continue to see life with hope …
To be happy you need “a lot” (yes, a lot!)
If you have ever heard the classic phrase that to be happy in life you need very little, you should know that you are wrong. Because we need a lot, now, a lot of that called “inner work.” Such psychological, motivational and emotional architecture is not acquired overnight.
If throughout our lives we have been educated under that scheme where happiness was associated with the accumulation of things, goods and social relationships, it is likely that when we do not achieve this goal and we remain low, what we feel is desolation, helplessness unhappiness.
Oliver Bukerman is one of the best-known current authors on helping us be happy. His approach is undoubtedly one of the most innovative as well as groundbreaking in the publishing market. With his book ” The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking”, he invites us to put aside Martin Seligman’s classic approach. Something like this is justified by an idea in which a good part of us will agree.
Many self-help books remind us of the need to cultivate our positive side, to strive to always seek the good side of life to attract it to us, to always think of the best so that that yellow brick road appears before us. our feet.
Oliver Bukerman explains that these ideas are ultimately quite exhausting and can even be counterproductive. The current economic climate, combined with political and environmental insecurity, means that many times it is not enough to have hope, it is not enough just to nurture a positive approach.
In the book ” The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking”, they propose the need to first assume that life is difficult, that bad things also happen to good people and that sometimes , it is not enough to strive in something to always be successful. Adversity is there, like a prowling creature that almost without knowing how, pounces on us when we least expect it.
Being positive is good, but being able to manage the negative is imperative. We must be able to accept failure – and come out of it – take losses – and cope with them – and understand that life is a constant change.
Finally, and as a curious fact, something that can help you at some point when problems overcome you and you do not find a cognitive solution that solves that maze, is to go for a walk. Physical exercise is very useful when we only see walls on the horizon, it is after all, another simple, inexpensive and accessible way to learn to be happy.
