The Fear Of Being Independent (Cinderella Complex)
There are people who are afraid of being independent and who unconsciously want to be cared for, cared for and pampered by other people. First described by Colette Dowling, the Cinderella complex is based on the idea of ​​femininity that this tale portrays. Cinderella is a beautiful, elegant, educated and hardworking woman who is criticized and exploited by her sisters and her stepmother.
However, Cinderella is unable to change her situation on her own, so she has to be helped by an outside force, in this case the Prince. You are probably thinking that this script is repeated in most of the classic fairy tales and in Disney in particular. The truth is that, sadly, this is so.
Although we have overcome many of the taboos of yesteryear, a trace of that inferiority complex is still preserved in the collective mind that makes us wait for the “prince charming”, someone who takes care of us, protects us and makes us feel safe. As a consequence, we grow up indoctrinated by an education that approves the submission and dependence of women to such an extent that they restrict their autonomy and their ability to feel like valid persons.
Thus, it seems that we live in a world full of dangers from which we have to be protected and safeguarded, which encourages people to block themselves and live waiting for something or someone to shake their life.
The longing for rescue and the Cinderella complex
We often fantasize about rescue or, in other words, about salvation. But, yes, if the liberation comes galloping and has blue blood, much better. From the earliest childhood we have created the hateful expectation that all change comes from outside and that it is difficult for us to do something different for ourselves. This favors the Cinderella complex to appear.
In any case, the Cinderella complex is not found exclusively among women, since, as we all know, it is also very present in men. I don’t care if the Cinderella complex makes an excuse for an insubstantial femininity of “porcelain dolls.” There are many men who are waiting for someone to rescue them, to take their chestnuts out of the fire and to do something for them and their well-being.
At the end of the day, no matter what gender we are talking about, the really important thing is that people with fear of independence abound and that no one shows us tools to deal with this.
An independent being is not born, it is made
The truth is that we tend, too often and too quickly, to lose our identity. Generally, we are independent people, with goals and with hobbies until we start a relationship.
When we start a new romance, we tend to put aside what defined us and begin to see the world from a joint prism, which diminishes our individuality. This happens more often to women, we stop being true to ourselves and we forget to fly .
Being independent is the ideal, because it lets you make your own decisions and set your own goals. We must always bear in mind that the need to be inside the cage is created by ourselves, as well as the feeling of emotional freedom.
So who does your happiness and destiny depend on? The responsibility is yours. Every morning, when you open your eyes, think if what you want is to live your day with sadness as a winter hat or, on the contrary, you prefer to refresh your emotions and make them your own.
Featured Image by Larissa Kulik.
