When Impulsivity Destroys Us
What are the benefits of being impulsive? It seems that there are not too many, quite the opposite. Impulsiveness hurts us, both us and those around us. The worst of all is that it is something unconscious and then we regret our sayings or actions, but we cannot go back in time.
That is why it is so important to learn to control our impulses and to think a little more.
If just someone says something to you, you react and answer them wrong … if they are asking you a question and you say the first thing that comes to your mind … if you are the first to start an argument, if when something goes wrong, you throw things on the ground or you start yelling and throwing tantrums like children, you may be having an impulsivity problem.
Do not feel bad, everything in life has a solution (except death, as it is popularly said). First of all, it is good to understand that being impulsive from time to time is not bad, because it could help us to be so shy or introverted, to achieve what we want and to make ourselves heard. However, the problem is when impulsivity is the rule rather than the exception.
There are different types of impulsive or compulsive people. Among the latter, for example, those who buy unnecessarily and accumulate clothes and objects in their homes. We will not dedicate ourselves to that in this article, but to another way to channel or react to emotions. That is, when we use anger, anger, nerves or crying, if something does not go as we want or expect, or if we do not know how to solve a problem.
With our way of expressing ourselves we can transmit many things. And we don’t always say the good with our words or attitudes. Perhaps, we do not have the evil intention to annoy or hurt the other, but we end up doing it.
If you are one of those who throws the stone at the first stimulus, if you answer before analyzing the situation well, if the initial reaction is to get angry or fight, if you feel clouded by anger and when you feel very angry, you only think about being hurtful , in revenge or in yelling … be careful, because impulsiveness can play a trick on you.
You do not have to make any excuses: ” I am stressed “, ” I did it without thinking “, ” I have many problems “, ” the economic crisis is making me sick “, ” I am impulsive by nature “, ” I am having my menstrual period “, etc. Face the situation and accept that you have an impulsivity problem. That is the first step.
Then it’s time for action, not reaction. This means that if your first reflex action to a not quite good stimulus is to fight back, you better wait. The technique of counting to ten (or twenty, thirty, one hundred…) or taking a deep breath may work for you. What helps you not to answer or yell, in the first second after the other finished speaking.
What is this for you? Well, not to say the first thing that comes to mind, that many times it is not the most appropriate or successful.
Sometimes letting two seconds go by does not mean that you cannot continue the conversation or that you have not understood something, but rather that you need time to process the information. You may give your mind a lot of credit for being faster than light, but that’s not always a good thing.
When you can put things in perspective, everything is better. When you take the time to analyze each other’s words and your own, you can achieve better results. When you let the urge not be the first thing to leave your mouth or your body, you predispose yourself in another way. When you think before you speak and measure your words, then you can come to fruition.
To finish, I leave you a nice reflection:
