Self-esteem, A Basic Pillar In Our Lives
Self-love is the starting point for the growth of the person who feels the courage to take responsibility for their own existence. (Viktor Frankl)
What is self esteem?
“ The way we feel about ourselves decisively affects all aspects of our experience. The responses we make to events depend on who and what we think we are. The dramas of our life are the reflections of the intimate vision that we have of ourselves. Therefore, self-esteem is the key to success or failure.
Of all the judgments we undergo, none is as important as our own. Positive self-esteem is the fundamental requirement for a full life ”(Nathaniel Branden)
Self- esteem is the value we have about ourselves. The ability to love, love, respect and value ourselves, which comprises a set of behaviors and attitudes, which constitute the basis of our personal identity. It is an evaluative perception of ourselves, one of the main pillars on which we rely.
In addition, self-esteem includes two important components: the feeling of personal capacity and the feeling of personal worth, being therefore the sum of trust and respect for ourselves, thus conditioning our quality of life.
A good self-esteem allows us to accept our limitations and difficulties, as it means loving ourselves as we are, both with our successes and with our mistakes and errors. It would feel good because we love and accept each other, appreciate and respect each other, regardless of the results or what we cannot do or do not like.
Self-esteem and opinion of others
To what extent should we take into account the word of others? How much of what others say about us is true?
Most of the problems that arise when we interact are based on beliefs and assumptions that others have to know, understand and accept us. But if we do not learn to give its fair value to the word of others, our self-esteem can easily be destroyed.
Each of us establishes links with others, relating to them in different ways. The bond that we have established with our mother is not the same as with one of our best friends or work colleagues, that is, in the relationships we maintain we are different depending on the bond that we have established with other people and the role that we adopt. Thus we have different peculiarities and limits depending on the people with whom we interact. Therefore, the relationships we maintain with people are only a part of us, a small portion, not our totality, since they can only know some of the manifestations of what we are but not all of our internal reactions and motivations. neither the totality of our history nor of what we are. People are much more than the relationships we host.
The opinions that others have about us are only formed by what they have been observing as well as the tint that each one has given to these observations according to their personal characteristics, as well as the opinions that we have of others. Therefore, it is possible that what others appreciate about us and what we appreciate about others, does not really fit the truth of who we are. But we tend to err in thinking that what we say about others is totally true, just as what others think about us is also true. That is, the opinion that others have of us only constitutes a portion of who we are, but not our totality.
And although depending on the established link, the frequency, the mode of treatment, etc. others can know more or less aspects of us, we cannot forget that we are the only ones who can know ourselves if this is how we want it, because it is we who will have the complete picture of who we are. Therefore, we do not expect so much from others, since our valuation has to be supported by what we think about ourselves and not by the partial vision of others.
