You Are My Fear But … I Am More Than You
We are all afraid, even very afraid of various things. Fears that often paralyze us and do not let us move. They do not allow us to move towards the goals we want to achieve. Many of these are innate, but most are acquired. We acquire them through learning.
If we do not get rid of them, it is simply because we do not confront them. Sometimes people feel insecure and unable to overcome them. Therefore, they become chronic, and we tend to avoid anything that reminds us of that real or unfounded fear.
There are people who do not know where these fears come from, and they feel helpless. Others do know where they come from, but there is nothing they can do to confront them. In any case, it is as important to know their origin as it is to deal with them.
Fears are always present
Many of these fears stem from our own insecurities. For example, fear of success, fear of failure, fear of lasting relationships, etc. And this is because at some point in our lives we have made a mistake and we fear repeating the pattern again. Or because we do not know or cannot deal with the emotions that arise when leaving our comfort zone.
We have to accept that we are all afraid at some point in our life. It is not something to be ashamed of. However, the difference is how we are able to grow in front of it and how we handle it, so that we do not get caught up in this unpleasant emotion.
Fears are there to tell us that we must act, so we must face this in the best way. These fears often make us feel weak and unable to move forward in our lives. They interfere in our interpersonal relationships and that is when it takes over us relegating them from the control of our own life.
What to do and how to act?
The first thing is to accept that they are present in us, that is the first step that we all must take to be able to do something with them. It is always good to be honest with ourselves and accept ourselves as we are with our weaknesses and strengths. We have already said that fear is like an alarm signal. We all have it. There are those who are reluctant to fear, and those who confront it. This is the difference.
We know that it is practically impossible to rationalize an emotion. That is why there are times that even knowing the reason for our fears we are not able to overcome it. You must know how it works to confront it.
Fear is an emotion
Indeed, it is nothing more than an emotion. Something that tells us that we must act in the face of danger. Therefore, what is really important is not the alarm signal; is the action.
If the action you take every time you feel fear is withdrawal, avoidance, cowering, shrinking, or giving up what you want, it is obvious that fear is taking control of your life. You are losing your own autonomy, your capacity for action, for choice, your will will have been broken.
However, you have other options. Stand firm and see how an emotion works.
- Emotions act very quickly, even before thought
- In a very few seconds, they reach the maximum activation peak. It is at this time that most people choose to avoid or escape from the situation.
- After a few seconds of maximum activation, the intensity of emotional activation tends to decrease rapidly
- At that moment, you begin to feel that you can dominate the situation, with the consequent effect on your self-esteem and self-concept. Hence the importance of mastering your fears. Once you do it once, you can do it always
In the event that you want to confront your fears, since it is the only way to overcome them, but you are totally unable to do it on your own, we recommend that you go to a psychologist. Behavior therapy is the one that has been shown to be the most effective in confronting fears, phobias and certain types of intense emotions.
In short, fears are not what matter. It is a natural emotion that indicates the presence of a possible danger. The important thing is what you do in the face of that emotion.
