Today I Decide To Smile And Not Make My Life Bitter For Anything Or Anyone

I have decided to stop embittering my life, because so much useless suffering no longer makes sense, because I have realized that it is a great mistake to come to believe that my happiness depends on what others do or do not do.

According to a curious study carried out at the University of California and published in the journal Pshychology Today,  almost 40% of our ability to be happy depends simply on taking the step “and changing. ” However, most of us cling to the same situations , and consequently, to make life miserable.

The key to looking a little more at daily happiness would be in something as simple as controlling the internal dialogue that we generate from what happens to us. We explain it to you.

I have decided to stop embittering my life: I no longer need anything

It may surprise you, but there are many people who establish their lives based on needs, and by doing so, what they achieve is to generate one burden after another : “I need my partner to do this and tell me that”, “I need to have that work ”,“ I need to have that phone ”,“ I need to be happier ”….

These types of thoughts, in addition to generating authentic existential bitterness, what they also achieve is to cause insecurity. When I get my partner to do what I wanted, the chances are that I will not feel satisfied or that another need arises.

Instead of establishing our existence based on needs as goals to achieve satisfaction, it is best to start with the shortest distances: by ourselves, by being well with what we are and have.

On the other hand, it is necessary not to confuse desires with needs, and even more, to understand that many of the things that surround us are not going to change for the simple fact that we do not like them. If you can’t stand your coworker, put your distance and deactivate all the negative things that it causes you.

It’s not going to change, so don’t let it make your life more bitter than necessary. Practice the expression “I have decided to stop making my life bitter: I no longer need anything.”

The art of making life bitter

Paul Watzlawick was an Austrian psychologist and philosopher who, in addition to leaving us as a legacy his “Theory of human communication”, also invited us to reflect through his book “The art of making life bitter.” In it, and in a very distracted way, he spoke to us about those mechanisms that people have to make the everyday unbearable.

Watzlawick did something very original in his book. He avoided the classic and recurring recipes of “to be happy you have to …” that appear in every self-help manual, to play with the paradoxical nature of our mind and suggest ideas such as the following:

• Hold on to the past so that you don’t have time to deal with the present.

• Make a forecast about something that is going to happen and that you fear, and assume it as true so that in this way, the opposite of what you would really like happens.

• Above all, reject and avoid a dangerous situation even if they try to make you see that the danger is no longer there.

• Convince yourself that there is only one correct opinion, yours, and see that everyone is going from bad to worse.

• No matter how much circumstances change, it is always better to stick with strategies that were previously effective.

Change your thoughts to change your emotions

The art of making life bitter is simply summed up in the ability to generate negative emotions. Disenchantment, disappointment, discomfort or anger are states that outline a reality that is as uncomfortable as it is unhappy.

• Remember that emotional states determine behaviors and that these in turn depend on what we think. If “someone gets on your nerves,” try to change the premonitory thought that comes up when you have to interact with this person .

• Control the rumor of your irrational thoughts and generate a more constructive, objective and above all a little more positive internal dialogue.

• To avoid making life bitter, it is necessary to practice open-mindedness and be aware of how difficult it is to change.

If we are one of those people who insist on not leaving our comfort zone and who, in addition, refuse to reformulate certain ideas and beliefs, it will be very difficult to generate change. Thus, we will become our main opponents, preventing our personal and emotional freedom. Think about it.

I have decided to stop embittering my life, changing the way I see my surroundings. From now on I decide to smile and not make my life bitter for anything or anyone …

Images courtesy of Art 3 Scenic, Nina de San