I Release You From Me

I’m not too bad, I assure you. I have discovered people who make me laugh, a lot. I have met again, in the mornings, when you are not at coffee time; in the afternoons, when I come back from work and there is nobody under the blanket …

I’m not doing so bad, believe me. I’m fine, although I still see you for a split second in every coffee, every time I pick up that blanket and look for something to lean on. I tell you: it is not the same to be as to be and you are no longer here, but you are still.

I’m fine, I’ve opened my arms to fill them with new memories in which you don’t appear; And yet I confess: I still don’t have enough to stop feeling cold.

You’re not here anymore, even though I see you

Writing is the hardest and least courageous way I have found to tell you that I miss you unconditionally , but that I need to live with me – as much or as you do without me. That is, if we can no longer be one, it is best for me to start learning to be me.  That they have told me out there that, fundamentally, who has to be with me is myself.

And you, you have not been here for a long time, although I can continue to see you in all the places I go. You know, those that you keep all the love you still keeping me because we must and we owe them all were happy that one day: because for above all evil, is that really knew us laugh.

It will be difficult to stop seeing each other, but the best advice I can give us is to be as strong as we dared to be when we decided to start. I know it’s not the same, that you were there and I was there; However,  we can do it , I can do it.

I release you from me

They have also told me out there – and this is the true function of this writing – that the best way to end pain is by releasing it. For this reason, without rancor and without hatred, I offer you all the freedom you need: I am not referring to something that is already clear, that you are gone; but to let yourself be true, without guilt or remorse, without more crying.

For this, the best thing, at least for now, is that we forget everything: Sundays at your house, the shared movies in which I always fell asleep, the meals that we will never eat again. Let go of the dreams that we have not fulfilled, my bad mood that prevented your smile, sadness, our joy. Let’s turn the page .

Let’s say goodbye to the cities that saw us together, to the first times that will always continue to be, to what you have taught me and what I could have taught you. Let’s start from scratch . I release you from me, in the same way that every corner that saw us one day and no longer sees us manages to do it.

I say goodbye without knowing how to do it at all, because I know that it is mandatory if I do not want the goodbye to be towards me, definitely. I am sure that you also agree on this: if we cannot be as we wanted, the healthiest thing is for us to be otherwise; and if now there is no way, the only thing that can cure us is that we are not.