Love Hurts When I Reflect On The Other
When a person falls in love, they are subject to a mirage of illusions in which their own SELF is reflected. Self-esteem is at the mercy of the other, self-confidence is given to the other, self-image and worth depend on the other. Your whole inner life belongs to that other. It is in this moment when love hurts in the deepest part of your being.
This can work perfectly and mature until it is established in time in a relationship of friendship, love and intimacy, which is True Love. To achieve this we only have to have found the right person, and when I say adequate I mean, adequate to consolidate our true identity.
Relationships are based on a take and receive, in this way everything that I receive will be because the other has received it from me before. Thus, we become mirrors that are reflected in each other : either the emptiness of one or the universe of the other.
The importance of having a partner for self-image
The human being is a social being by nature, evolved and adapted to living in company. However, that company is safer if it is a sufficient number that the brain can control: a small group of acquaintances. Hence, the ideal number would be two, and from there, form a family with the individuals that you decide.
For this reason, it is so catastrophic for a brain not to have a partner or to have never had one. The brain interprets and anticipates its destruction and the possibility of not seeing its genes extended to new generations. This can be really stressful to the point of sinking into a deep depression. Which is paradoxical, because that way we won’t get a partner either.
On the other hand, if we have a partner, we want them to radiate the best of us, and we don’t realize that the other can only radiate what I show them about myself. This also hurts us. We want it to be perfect, for everything to go well, for there to be no mistakes.
But, the truth is that what hurts us the most is that we are seeing the worst of ourselves in that person, what we do not accept from our interior or what perhaps, we would love to do or be and we do not dare, but the other he does or sees, because he sees it in our reflection (remember that we are a mirror). If we lose that love that made us so happy, of course it hurts. It hurts to the point that we believe we are dying of love. And now who am I reflecting on?
Our self-esteem depended on that mirror, my self-image was the other, my security was knowing that it was there. But none of that is true, it is an illusion that made us believe the other mirror by always going in front of me.
When that mirror disappears, millions of things appear that we can begin to reflect within ourselves, allowing us to fill ourselves and grow in a wonderful way. But until that moment of discovery comes, it hurts.
Love hurts, but for our Ego
Love hurts when we find it, because we begin to lose other reflections that we have known until now. We love our new mirror and start to believe that we couldn’t live without it, but it hurts. It hurts for our Ego, it hurts for our interior, and it hurts for the whole world to lose a reflection like mine.
What is the solution? We have to grow within ourselves so that we do not need another mirror to move around the world. Our self-esteem must be strong and believe in ourselves, regardless of any other reflection.
Be sure that what we teach abroad is the best of ourselves, what we like the most, what makes us feel proud of who we are. Thus, we will be able to reflect in others the most beautiful of our being, in such a way that we will receive the same that we give magnified by the wonderfulness of the other.
