Search What You Want To Find
The psychologist and writer Viktor Frankl asked his troubled and unstable patients: Why don’t you kill yourself? At that time, the patients imagined the process and understood that this was not what they wanted and also Frankl understood that what gave meaning to the patient’s life was to find the reason why he clung to life.
Therefore, it is not a question of simply looking for a reason, but of looking for the reason that we want to find to give meaning to our existence. The technique used by Dr. Frankl was reverse psychology, that is, patients are made to believe that you want them to do something that you really do not want, in this way what is called “psychological reactance” is produced since we are opposed to something that is ordered or imposed on us because it restricts our personal freedom.
We all have a why or who to live for, a reason that allows us to move forward every day, that motivates us and that gives meaning to every second of our existence
How to find what you want to find
The way to make sense of our life is by asking ourselves questions that lead us to our true passion, to what we really want, not what other people want for us. It is about finding a true source of energy within us, a spark that we can then empower.
The meaning of our life is given by ourselves, no one else. Some of the questions that we can ask ourselves to find the meaning of our existence have to do with the answers we give to the following questions.
What is the most important thing in your life?
If you knew that tomorrow you were going to lose your life, what would you do, who would you be with, where would you like to be or what place would you like to visit. We all have a reason to live for, people who complete us, who keep us going.
Who you admire?
The person we admire embodies what we perhaps want to find, what we dream of, what we want to be. Look at that person you admire, ask yourself why you admire them, and reflect on the conclusions you draw. Sometimes, that can help us to know what we want, what would give meaning to what we live day to day and what we must change to achieve it.
What would you do day after day without charging anything in return?
All of us do something that we are passionate about, that really motivates us and we would be willing to do it for free day after day for the simple pleasure of enjoying that activity that moves us. It can be any activity: crafts, painting, mechanics, writing, dancing, cinema, etc. That something will be part of the meaning you seek.
What prevents us from finding what we want
There are two essential factors that prevent us from constantly looking for what we want to find: fear and social opinion regarding what we want to do.
Can you imagine what you would do if you weren’t afraid? Fear is a complicated obstacle, an invisible enemy that calls on our survival instinct to paralyze us. Think how you will be in 5 years if you do not overcome that fear you feel now. It is a shocking image right?
On the other hand, what others think or say is something that, no matter how much we deny it, negatively influences us and stops our search for what we want. We are influenced by the opinions of friends, our family members or our partner, but ask yourself this question: what do you want?
