Missing Someone Who Doesn’t Even Think About You

You know that missing someone who doesn’t even think about you is an emotional misspelling. You are aware that it is a mistake; that letting your thoughts and desires go again and again towards that person traces the labyrinth of useless suffering. And even so, it is impossible to get out of this drift, where the present is full of anchors that take us again and again to the past.

Let’s admit it, to this day they have still created that drug capable of extinguishing nostalgia, of erasing the pain of an absence that until not long ago was everything for us. Despite this, and although it is hard to believe, going through these stages is something necessary, something inherent to the human being, since suffering also cements stories, establishes the personality and endows us with valuable psychological resources.

With this, we do not mean by any means that you have to suffer to learn. However, when life breaks us it is useless to turn our faces, even less to hit the wall in despair. Beyond what we may think, we are prepared to overcome pain in all its forms and tones. The broken pieces can join again and even heal, consolidating a more resistant material.

Missing someone who doesn’t even think about you, what can you do?

Missing someone who doesn’t even think about you is a tremendous irony, but it is still an everyday phenomenon. When you get up in the morning it is the first thought, when you go to bed it is the origin of your insomnia and during the day there is no song, series, corner of the city, book or ridiculous insignificance that does not take you back to that person.

Living with an eye in the rear-view mirror of our past is not recommended or healthy. Now, as desperate as it may seem, we must understand a small aspect: it is normal. There is always a period of grief where we are forced to deal with a wide spectrum of sensations, anxieties, emotional pain, and anguish.

The most important thing in all this is not to extend that time excessively, and even less to lead to what is known as a frozen or delayed duel. In these latter situations, the person convinces himself that he can move on, but far from giving an adequate closure to that loss, he leads to situations of high stress and anxiety where the emotions for that absence remain very intense.

Why happens? Why is it so hard for us to forget?

In reality, it is not about forgetting but about learning to live with memories without hurting them. Our brain will hardly erase from memory a story inscribed through the ink of emotions. The more intense and significant they last, the more difficult it is for us to alleviate the imprint of pain.

That this is so is basically due to that combination of neurotransmitters and hormones such as oxytocin, serotonin or dopamine that consolidate our personal relationships. When we are with someone we love, this fabulous chemical cocktail is released where the most intoxicating emotions float with intensity.

Now, when that someone is not there, the brain continues to need its ‘dose’ of neurochemicals. Affection for someone is, in a way, an addiction to our neural universe, where we find calm and well-being. However,  if we lack that person, dysregulation, anguish and anxiety appear. ..

Missing someone who doesn’t even think about you has a solution

We miss many people and in many different ways. We feel nostalgic for those figures we leave behind on life’s journey (friends, co-workers). We experience pain when losing someone in a traumatic way and, of course, we long for those people with whom we maintained an affective bond and whose breakup could be complicated.

Somehow, a good part of relationships do not end by mutual agreement. Sometimes love fades in one of the two, other times that love moves towards a third person or simply coexistence is not satisfactory in one part of the couple. In these situations, there is always someone who will carry the suffering and burden of remaining in love on their shoulders.

Missing someone who doesn’t even think about you has a solution. There are no miracles or quick strategies, but there are processes that must be followed appropriately and with commitment. Let’s reflect on these keys.

Contact ‘zero’

It can be traumatic but necessary. When we miss someone we are tempted to reconnect, to meet for one last conversation, to devise strategies to win back that person. If we really want to overcome that rupture, it is necessary to avoid these types of situations. What’s more, another suggestion is to avoid social media and view updates, photos, and comments from that particular person.

Accept reality without grudges, forbidden to seek guilty

When a relationship ends in a complex way, it is common to harbor feelings of anger or frustration. When looking for a ‘why’ it is easy to embark on the pendulum of guilt. There where to think at once that we are to blame for not having done this or that or where to conclude that it is the other person who has treated us badly, who has humiliated us.

These types of thoughts plunge us further into suffering and stagnate the grieving process.

New projects, new goals on the horizon

Constantly missing is like nailing an anchor and staying trapped in the same space, in the same situation of constant pain and longing. Nothing advances. Nothing changes. We remain captive of a personal involution that nobody deserves.

It must be clear: we can miss someone, but only enough. Just enough to gradually close a stage, without my memory becoming an anchor or ballast.

Practice gratitude

Gratitude is a skill that we can all develop and, over time, make it a habit. Being grateful gives us the opportunity to be aware of how good we are and how lucky we are, which undoubtedly helps to improve our mood.

Even if everything seems to be going wrong in our life, there is always something to be thankful for. Ideally, find the little things that are going well and focus on them. For example, having a warm and comfortable bed to spend the night in, fresh coffee in the morning or enjoying good health another day.

There are many ways to exercise gratitude. One of them is to write down in a journal, before going to bed, three things for which we are grateful. As we already said, they don’t have to be something extraordinary. It could be a call from a friend, a visit from mom, or a delicious dinner.

Another way is to leave notes around the house, where we can easily see them and reflect things for which we are grateful. This could be a sign on the bathroom mirror or on the refrigerator.

Remember, gratitude is not about having something in your life, but about being aware of everything we have, no matter what it is. This represents a way to cultivate happiness.