9 Gaslighting Phrases That Make You Question Your Reality

The gaslighting phrases that make you question your reality do not come in the manuals about family or couple relationships. Nobody warned us that people were capable of manipulating others, that there are those who enjoy making others doubt their feelings, behaviors or thoughts. However, this is a very frequent and highly damaging form of psychological abuse.

Although it is true that, sometimes, it is paradoxical that we have to use anglicisms to define certain behaviors, we do not stop admitting that, on this occasion, the choice of this word is very appropriate. Gaslight or dying light (1944) was that film in which a Machiavellian Charles Boyer made his wife, Ingrid Bergman, believe that he was losing his mind.

That anguish, the permanent doubt of the female character questioning herself almost to the brink of madness, showed us how far the art of psychological abuse can go. 73 years later, Dr. Stephanie Sarkis published an article that went viral when she told us about the signs of gaslighting , a practice that appears in almost any human bond.

It is practiced by many people with their partners, also between co-workers and of course it can also appear between parents and children. It is important in all cases to recognize the mechanisms of this type of abuse and therefore, it will be interesting to take into account their communication style.

9 gaslighting phrases that make you question your reality

Research such as those conducted at the University of Harvard, for example, remind us that the gaslighting is a form of abuse of power. It is practiced by those figures who seek above all to subdue others. To do this, they design, apply and evoke a type of abuse to undermine the identity of the other, invalidate him emotionally and feed him with insecurities.

Although it is true that this practice is almost always related within couple relationships, it can be quite common in work settings. Many co-workers can make use of gaslighting phrases and thus be able to have you under control or even minimize your performance and thus get rid of a competitor. These are undoubtedly very complex and stressful situations.

Therefore, it can help us to know those expressions that a gaslighter usually uses . We analyze them.

1. “I know what you are thinking, it shows in your face.”

The psychological manipulator and architect of the gaslight is a supposed expert in mentalism. That is, it will make us believe that it can guess what we think, that we are little more than an open book and that everything shows in our expression.

Furthermore, the simple fact that they tell us “they know what we think” is an attempt at domination. Because in fact what we have in mind does not matter. Your internal reality does not matter, it only matters what the other believes, no matter how absurd it may seem.

2. “What happens to you is that you are too sensitive.”

Among the gaslighting phrases to question your reality, you cannot miss that of “you are too sensitive.” With it, they try to minimize our needs by making us believe that we resort to exaggeration or that we are little more than the kings of drama.

3. “Everything that happens to me is your fault.”

Projecting guilt on the shoulders of others is a resource as sophisticated as it is recurrent in every manipulator. However, as classic as it may be, it always makes a dent.

With the projection of guilt, the self-esteem of others is boycotted and the other person feels increasingly insecure in their behavior.

4. “We already talked about that, don’t you remember?”

Denying something that you know is obvious is yet another resource from the gaslight expert . Telling us, for example, that we have already had certain conversations, that we reached certain agreements or even more that we said something in particular (when it is not true) are very common harmful strategies in these cases.

5. “You are overwhelming me with your obsessions!”

Among the gaslighting phrases of a psychological abuser, expressions such as “you are crazy, you overwhelm me with your nonsense nonsense or you are neurotic” cannot be lacking . With these words, it is achieved once again that the other person not only doubts himself, but also believes that his behavior or way of being is harmful to the other.

6. “You are stressed, you do not think clearly.”

Another objective of the gaslighter is to take down your mental strongholds. It will make you believe that you are not well, that you care about nothing, that you act out of control, that everything you say and do is meaningless. If you demand respect or if you demand something you need, they will tell you that you are stressed, that you do not think clearly. ..

7. “You need to learn to communicate better.”

The gaslighting phrases to make you question your reality trace that type of manipulation that undermines any personal area. Making you doubt your social skills, your strengths, and even your knowledge is common. They will tell you that you communicate badly, that they cannot understand and that it is increasingly difficult to talk to you.

8. “Can’t you tolerate a joke?”

The jokes of the psychological manipulator, far from being funny, cause deep wounds. They will make use of the irony that stings, the sarcasm that hurts and those comments that, far from awakening smiles, sink self-esteem.

9. “You are the only person I have these problems with.”

“It is clear that something happens to you, because what I live with you does not happen to me with anyone … “. If someone drops this type of reasoning on us, we must be clear: they are making us gaslight . What they seek with this is to demolish all our temperances and make us believe that we have a problem that we are not aware of.

To conclude, it is true that this type of psychological abuse resorts to many more dialectical engineering. It is also true that some are so sibylline that sometimes we do not see them coming the first time. However, to notice this behavior, it is enough only to monitor how certain people make us feel.

If they manage to make us doubt ourselves and our worth more every day, the best thing is to put distance.