2 Misconceptions About Love

Romantic love is part of a myth created by stories, cinema or literature that traces the outline of a Platonic world, in many cases far from reality. It is clear that it would be a mistake to think that it is totally false since, if we internally reflect on this concept, our heart will confirm that honest love does exist.  

We have all lived true love at some point in our existence or at least we have given ourselves to it, wanting to embrace the experience fully. Thus, we have carried out actions full of romanticism as part of that dedication and as a corollary of that seduction necessary to conquer the person we yearn for.

On the other hand, it is no less true that within the label of romantic love ideas that are not entirely true are intertwined, even being negative for our interior, such as developing a dependence between both lovers or excessive devotion. Today we will reveal the 2 false ideas about love.

False legends about romantic love

From a young age, they motivate us to develop a vision of reality where the star concept is the “romantic ideal” or what is the same, a series of stereotypes in which the perfect couple has to fit. Ideas such as understanding, a sense of humor, good communication, and respect. Enjoying all these experiences and situations is undoubtedly healthy for our being. It brings us closer to discovering what we really want and what we are not prepared to allow.

The negative side of this idealization is that we get carried away excessively by the idea of ​​this type of romantic love, we forget that we work with a curved mold and that reality and people always have their edges. A model that, as we have said, comes from children’s stories, which is perpetuated by the cinema and sold at a bargain price through advertising.

However, in the fine print of the message it says that all people lie, because growing up in an immaculate truth is no less poisonous than doing it in the absolute lie. That there are people who have defects that are not part of the socially accepted and that still deserve affection and love. It says that time and conditions are mutable and that the only one forever is now. All this is small print that we do not read, that we ignore because of the difficulty that it entails.

The love is for ever

Falling in love does not imply believing that this love will last forever. It implies that our feelings are of great intensity and that with the force of that illusion we are able to imagine a future together. A tomorrow in which that illusion is perpetuated, hence in those moments it is difficult for us to understand that it could have an end.

Thus, we walk like giants and not with leaden feet, we abandon our protection to allow ourselves to be surrounded by the sense of security that falling in love itself gives. Barriers are no longer necessary because at that moment we feel very strong.

Thus, in the face of the idea of ​​forever, love is something that is cared for and built on a daily basis. In a feeling that in its development will not be without difficulties, transformations and adjustments. That is the effort that he asks of us, that is also his beautiful part if we know how to respond and it is no less beautiful than the one that idealistic love promises.

So one piece of advice I can give you is never to force yourself to believe that your current relationship has to last forever. The only person responsible for guaranteeing your own happiness is you. People evolve and change, as well as emotions and sensations. 

A task that can help you reaffirm the bond with the person you love is to make commitments. We are not talking about commitment but about commitments, in the plural. We are not talking about ensuring that some feelings will not change, but we are talking about putting the practical will so that this feeling never lacks care and attention.

Finally, do not forget that you have lived without your partner and that if they leave you can live without them. This is something that does not make the person you love less important, but it does prevent you from generating a dependency to which you can end up being a slave.

Love needs us to give up everything

A classic and harmful ideal of romantic love without a doubt. At this point it is good to emphasize that the figure that is most damaged is usually that of the woman, since the existing stereotype establishes that she has to be the figure capable of leaving everything for him. Put everything aside for your partner.

Healthy love grows when both parties invest in the commitment you have signed. In a healthy relationship, the search for balance is fundamental,  both parties giving themselves in a balanced way and respecting the independence and individuality of the other at all times. They are usually couples where their love is born from trust and respect, teamwork and they do not monopolize the identity of the other.

We could confirm at this point that romantic love hides, as we perceive it in today’s society, harmful and unhealthy couples. Remembering that true and healthy love is that feeling that does not dominate or put up barriers will help you to live day to day fully with your partner. This is magical love, the perfectly imperfect, and no other.